Test

I woke up this morning having to read a plethora of disturbing stories. In church all this week, during our conference, I kept hearing the speakers encourage us to realize that what’s happening in the world is pushing us back to God. From “natural disasters”, bigotry, the poison in foods, the hate in our local communities, etc. There is simply evil on every level; both global and local. We even have to be concerned with people we call friend and/ or family. However, on even our dollars it reads, “IN GOD WE TRUST”. It seems as though this nation has completely lost sight of what really matters. Do we really trust HIM? Many religions have been developed due to humans wanting control. So, in what god do we trust as a nation? I mean, of course, I know WHO I believe in. But could it be that its not the religions that divide us but the god that many are worshipping? And their god doesn’t deal with the heart? This God that I trust deals with the heart of His children and pushes us to love one another.

We film everything in the moment until there is no safety. We literally live our lives with no privacy and with everything in front of the world. Marriages aren’t staying together. We’ve become more concerned with numbers of likes and views on our social media. I am guilty of some of this. Unless it’s work, some things have gained my attention and as time has passed I will have realized that there was something else in my life that needed more of my attention, or prayers.

CNN has released stories of people being killed and injured in Las Vegas during a concert. It’s highly disturbing because I’m sure no one plans to attend a concert with random shootings. I’ve watched the videos and have seen fear in the faces of the people during the shooting. But one that caught my attention was a young woman recording and talking into her camera while shots were fired. I am completely confused. So, now we have an example of a generation who are okay with putting their lives in jeopardy to only capture a moment or proof of them being there. While viewing other videos, I did see a love and care of one another. This love came from fear. People are now concerned with their safety, and their loved ones.

Later, I read posts from people I followed and thought to myself, “they are simply concerned with the wrong things…” As I read the articles of CNN and Vox, I realized that I’ve totally turned into my parents and grandparents. I am now following world news and not just pop culture. Being aware and now being more careful with what/who I give my attention, I now have a different sense of urgency when praying. I further developed a conclusion. I would like to mature and develop with God’s help. I don’t want to be in my 40’s still posting the same quotes, about people, that I did when I was in my 30’s. I would like to be free in God and free from people. God help me to find that liberty. I hope this post inspires you to stay aware. Watch and pray. Love on those that deserve your love and time. Distribute your time as if tomorrow isn’t promised. Concern yourself with your OWN business. Work to enjoy your fruits and not for the pat on the back. Deal with the child in you who has been hurt so that that child isn’t showing up during your old age. Heal. Pray this prayer with me and reflect on this. Scripture to consider: 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. Today, Lord, I pray that you give me a praying spirit. Help me to grow in my faith-walk. Don’t allow me to grow old making posts about the time that people won’t give me. Show me how to enjoy the fruits of MY LABOR; and to simply do it for me and to the glory of YOU! Help me to grow and not be stagnant! Help me to evaluate my actions before jumping to conclusions. Protect and cover my family and friends. Help me to concern myself with the things of life that really matter. Protect me from wicked schemes. Have me to be in the right place at the right time. Heal this nation. Protect my unborn children. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

I had the pleasure of traveling this weekend to DC and sharing a space with some major trailblazers! Major politicians such as Maxine Waters, Jesse Jackson, Congressman Conyers, and so many others took a knee in support of Colin Kaepernick’s protest. Did a tear swell up in the corner of my eyes after watching the video of Micheal Thomas (from the dolphins)? Yes! After watching a clip of him breaking down while thinking of the safety of his children was beyond disturbing.

However, this trip with politicians was quite enlightening and inspiring. Hearing their stories of heavy, and visible, racism was quite disturbing. Learning more about racism and white supremacy is probably one of the most disheartening things that we experience as people of color. I am completely appalled to see that racism has been heightened due to the kind of leader we have an office. To see that there is REALLY an entire group of people in this country who have been supportive of the current president of the United States, and his actions, keeps me baffled. I can’t believe that there are fans of not only racism and bigotry but of a wicked heart issue. I’m disappointed because our country has allowed us to be set back years of when our grandparents were children.

White supremacists have no remorse or thought of parents, children, elderly, etc. The president of the United States has declared war through Twitter. Yet, his fight is with African American men who are silently and tastefully protesting. In my same timeline of social media, I find a fight of two African-American males while a group of our kind stand around supporting this behavior. While also seeing in last week’s timeline a biracial nine-year-old was hung (but survived) by other children of another race. So, the president of the US takes light of Korea’s minister planning to shoot down US planes. African Americans are still trying to prove an unnecessary point amongst ourselves, by "reading each other", when there’s already a point proven by this country not being quite fond of our kind. It’s disgusting on both sides.

Every morning I look in the mirror, as a woman of color, having to cover myself (with prayer) and my family for the color of our skin. I’ve even considered if I really want to bring children into such a wicked world. Donald Trump referred to African-American athletes as "sons of b*%<!es". He’s running this country as a 19 year old rich spoiled kid who takes jobs from people as if they’re toys. This comment wasn’t just to these innocent men but a direct remark to the mothers of these sons. There is absolutely no regard, and emphasis, given to the fact that Korea is planning to go to war with our country. Yet, we fight one another and keep posting about make up tutorials. When will we enlighten one another?

There’s so much confusion, hate, wickedness, etc. I’ve looked in the mirror and have promised myself to not be weak like some of my generation. I’ve affirmed myself that I will not allow myself room to fight with my sister of brother of color. Not only of color, but not even with any other minorities. I’ve affirmed myself that my mother is not a female dog but she is a queen. My father is a godly black man doing whatever it takes to keep his family tougher. I must demand respect with how I carry myself, and what I put into the earth. I’ve affirmed myself that I am beautiful. Black is the absorption of all colors. My forefathers put their lives on the line for this country. The confederate flag is not the only issue. The American flag has become one too.

It’s so unfortunate, because out of all of the preaching and motivational speeches we still aren’t strong enough within ourselves to partner and bond with someone else of our kind. We’ve become selfish.

When will we change? When will we have the strength, glue, knowledge, tenacity and more like the generations before? When will we stop fighting each other and not only respond when something is wrong but continuously support for one another when it’s time to boycott? But when will it be all year round? Not the boycott, but the support.

Take a knee but check your heart!

It’s so easy to have a time of mess ups, forget what it took to get to where you are, and become comfortable with not growing. The other day I was asking a young friend some questions and I learned how uninformed I was on the new culture. Now, don’t get me wrong, everything I don’t have to know. However, I spoke with my father and called myself filling him in on what was happening in pop culture and by the time I finished he said, "I know…don’t let my age make you think that I’m not connected." We laughed and continued rationalizing or freeing our minds. Ideas started to be created for our ministry and so on. I thought to myself, "oh.." LOL This is what happens when two generations come together. You have wisdom and newness!

There’s an understanding and a desire that timeless leaders and businessmen (and women) carry when they continue to inform themselves of the times. We didn’t spend almost 170,000 hours of our lives in school just to do it, but to show the power in education. This allows us to understand generations and be open to further understanding. It develops a character of "not knowing it all" until where you then aren’t intimidated by those you blaze a trail for. Be a trailblazer.

I sang the other day and picked myself apart. I look at some of my biggest inspirations and ask, "would they have done it like this or that…" Sometimes I can be too hard on myself, but my desire to be better is always a plus. I look at millionaires and always see what’s the "new new"! I look at different marketing strategies, power presentations, keynote speakers, etc. It’s not mirroring someone else with total exactness but simply diversifying your skill to be called for a plethora of opportunities. People like Mark Zuckerberg, Beyoncé, Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Christy Walton, Jeff Bezos, Larry Page, T.D. Jakes, Oprah Winfrey, Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Stefan Perrson and so many others are clearly informed and keeping young minds around. It’s obvious that Mark Zuckerberg had to eventually look at his competitor. First there was Snapchat and then there was Insta-snap. Don’t be so busy until you miss the opportunity to educate yourself and not create opportunities for yourself to grow! So, be inspired to stay educated.

In conclusion, I’ve learned that one of the ways to lock in a expansion and growth is by engaging with other relevant content that’s not yours. "It will keep you on top of industry news, best practices, dos, don’ts, and fauxs, and, hopefully, a step ahead." Don’t get comfortable. Always work to master and grow! Try and read something once a day!

Sources used:

"Why it’s imported to stay educated" by Katie Lorenz

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Scriptures to consider:

Matthew 7:7 – Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

James 2:26 – As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead.

Proverbs 29:18 – Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Deuteronomy 8:18 – But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.

1 John 2:16"For all these worldly things, these evil desires–the craze for sex, the ambition to buy everything that appeals to you, and the pride that comes from wealth and importance–these are not from God. They are from this evil world itself."Someone once said, " I have a terrible past. I’m afraid that my past may come up while pursuing my dream." I say, "who cares?!" Sometimes our past is what makes people like us or is what helps someone else believe that they can overcome "it".

We often hide things because we are really embarrassed, want to keep a certain image of ourselves/our marriage, we keep secrets to ourselves to stay feeling important, or to have the celebrity- like treatment.However, the most liberating way of life is to be true to yourself and with others.

Living a lie is exhausting! Don’t worry about covering your tracks. God will protect you if you stay honest. Everyone doesn’t have to know your business. So, be discreet. What if our past is what connects the dots to our future? It may connect us to the people we’re suppose to talk to, have in our clientele, or be our customer.

As much as I stress over my weight, I’ve learned that being healthy should be my ultimate goal! To be the size that I like, is what matters later. If this wasn’t apart of my journey, I wouldn’t have started my clothing line, Eleven60, for full figured women. To act as if I don’t have moments of feeling insecure, would be completely false.

It would disconnect me from every woman. I wouldn’t have an audience!

LOL What woman never questions herself?

To talk about my ins and outs of relationships or the dreams that I’ve not yet reached, keeps me connected with who I am assigned to. If we stay open, or if they find something on you, your future won’t be surprised because you stay true. It is already, ready for you! You keep at the forefront "I’m not perfect.

I mess up but I’m rockin’ this thing as hard as I can and I have some pretty awesome moments!" As long as we remain opened books, people won’t be surprised by where you’ve come from; hence allowing you to live life authentically and as simply "you". Your past is not who you are. It becomes easier to figure out parts of life, love the way you want to, say no when you need to, curse if you have to, check yourself when you know you’re wrong, etc.

This is only healing for your soul, success for your growth, and freedom with your mental stability. If we try to live a lie, we’ll begin to believe it. That lie will eventually torment us causing us not to sleep/rest. Lies keeps us out of our creative and productive zone. The truth will set you free. Lies are from the dark world it’s wicked. A lot of us second guess ourselves because of the lies that we’ve made up in our minds.

The imaginary problems fester up when we give life to the lie. So, the lie is that "I’m perfect"! No I’m not perfect! I’m a beautifully flawed, growing, authentic, and dope individual. Sometimes when I lack in my spirituality I’d like to say, "I’m effing awesome!". But I don’t curse. So, don’t judge me. LOL That’s how we should view ourselves. I’m a super dope creation by God!

Once we become okay with simply not being concerned with what fabricated people think we then can live our lives freely and without the fear of "if anything comes up". Now, I will say this! Be integral. Don’t be sloppy. We are reps of Christ. Don’t live life like there isn’t a life after this one. Keep in mind the dream that you’re working towards is big.

So make decisions like you can’t lose your billion dollar dream. My father once told me, "you’ve got to hang around people who have something to lose. You can’t be the only one that has something major at hand." People who have something to lose decide differently. They struggle differently. They use discretion. An example, "I can’t put everything on social media because my kids are on there and they can’t see their momma turnin’ up!" Or "I have a job! They hold me to a standard and I can’t post everything!" It’s just being wiser in our dealings. This doesn’t make us sadiddy or stuck up. We just think and move differently. My vibration is too strong to not use discretion.

Proverbs 2:11 NKJ"Discretion will preserve you;Understanding will keep you."Proverbs 2:11 TLB"You will be given the sense to stay away from evil men who want you to be their partners in crime–men who turn from God’s ways to walk down dark and evil paths."

The most beautiful thing is to have a man who can make you feel like art. Make me feel like a woman. Your grown man characteristics and godliness causes me to feel safe so that I can maintain my grace. Tell me I’m beautiful. Grab my arm and tell me not to run from you, but to run to you. When I roll my eyes, you have no problem with it. You told me that it’s "stubborn/humble submission to you"… While you date me and I test your heart, let’s honor the Lord in this situation and keep ourselves until marriage. But don’t make me wait for this marriage for too long because the passion for you is burning me.

I want to give you more now because you’re healing me. The words you’ve released to my mind have traveled to my heart healing the wounds of what I thought was so right but what was oh so wrong. The healing then communicates with my mind storing your face in my subconscious to show me who’s responsible for this healing love. I’m now dreaming of you. The seeds that you’ve planted in my ears have me smitten. You told me that you want your children to come through a special portal and that the mother of your children is more than someone you sleep with. They’re the portal of where your seed is released.

The way you think makes me think bigger and deeper. The questions I’ve asked while dating others were frustrating because they didn’t have the answers. But you’ve given me answers without me asking. You’ve told me that strong women scare weak men away. You’re okay with me fussing because you know that I’m not trying to be your "momma" but your woman who knows the potential of her man. No nagging, just the best friend that wants the best for her friend. Amazing…I’m speechless. Where will this go? I’m interested in knowing. God is amazing.

If this doesn’t last forever, or if you’re not the one, at least God will have shown me that it’s possible to be loved the way I want to be loved. It’s not so complicated after all. It’s only complicated to someone who doesn’t have it to give. You’re not afraid to have an established coach to help lead you where your absent father didn’t. That inspires me!

You didn’t give up on love because of the cold heart of another. You’re king. I’ve learned why it’s important to do it God’s way. When we play house and the season is up, it’s hard to break away and listen to God because I then am practicing a divorce.