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Singleness is ordained selfishness. Someone said this to me this morning and it stuck with me. I began to think about how often we compare ourselves with so many others and we look at what “they” have saying, “I wish I had that”, not knowing the bliss or misery that may have occurred during their journey. Or what about the dream that we’ve been praying for? Maybe it hasn’t happened yet. Very often the waiting time/the waiting room can be very boring. However, it’s very rare for us to have been waiting and the doctor sneaks out the back door and never returns. Even if he does dip, by law he still has to see you. By law, God has to come through for you. He set it up that way. You are His child. We wonder, “God why did you put me in this place?”. Sometimes he has us there to renew us.

To become new and to renew our strength, means that something that we’ve not had will come upon me. The definition of “new” is not existing before. God could be cultivating us and developing us so that when we are in the marriage, or having meetings at bigger tables, we aren’t needing to get the part of our lives out that we never lived while young. Sometimes we rush ourselves into things out of God’s timing, we have the tendency to destroy beautiful opportunities. That opportunity could be to love again and be safe or to be a millionaire and to have financial stability.

You know how some people say, “Oh they’re just going through a phase…”! A phase? The heck you talkin’ bout?! There shouldn’t be any phases when in marriage or having reached the promised land. My prayer lately is, “Lord get it ALL out of me…” Don’t get me wrong I understand that there is love, sacrifice, and compromise that comes along with marriage but are you ready for it? Some of us haven’t seen the world and don’t know if 5 years from now we will have moved and met a man/woman that we never thought we’d come across. I don’t want to be that person who is in marriage still curious. Curious George is for kids. LOL! I’d like to be fully ready, sure, and whole. I don’t want to be broken into pieces, giving my husband and children a human science project – or not knowing how to maintain the promised place due to my premature arrival. That’s how cycles begin. When we don’t wait on God and we rush ourselves into a space that we aren’t ready for, whoever we are responsible for will take on our habits and mentalities. It’s naturally a part of domestication. Further, this is why owning our truths is so important because it sets your free guiding you in a true place without a fabricated you.

So, it’s sort of like, when the grown ups would tell the children to “stay in a child’s place”. I pray that I don’t make my children into psychologists prematurely; trying to figure out why mommy is possibly unstable with her emotions etc. I hope to give my family structure. I have a past and I’ve made mistakes. Though its widely accepted by today’s society, to have a family with out the proper tools and/or structure, I still hope to do it God’s way. And if you’ve not done it His way, I hope that you’re inspired to do it his way so that you aren’t later facing the possibilities/His promises with extra (permanent) baggage. Wait on God, blossom, and grow today. I had an epiphany for a moment and thought to myself, if I hadn’t waited I would’ve still been calling “Tyrone”. LOL!Lord help us to have self discipline. If we are in something prematurely, we believe that you have the power to transform us in the now. So, God do it. Help us to wait on you so that we can see the possibilities that you had planned for us along the course of our life’s journey. We trust you. If we are uncertain, show us how to trust you and give us the peace and strength to wait. Even when there are opportunities that present themselves, if it’s not from you and if we can’t hear you, shut the door – even if it hurts. Father though many things are accepted, help us to have a standard and structure to ourselves. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Scriptures To Consider:

1 Corinthians 9:25

2 Timothy 1:7

Galatians 6:46

Isaiah 40:31

Jeremiah 29:11

I was watching TV yesterday, and a Summer’s Eve commercial came on promoting a special Valentines Day package. LOL It was a like a “smell good down there for the special day”.…Order now! Obviously we are in a world of where sexin’ outside of marriage is widely accepted and to make this clear I am in no way coming to you on the “I’m holier than you” kick. LOL However, it caught my attention because I interpreted it as “make sure the cookie is smellin’ good for the special day” and I’m like, “well what about the other days?” LOL a couple years ago this commercial would have had me ready for the special day with my non-married self. It dawned on me that for a long time I was acting married and in love.

Tying my soul everyday to someone who was hitting it off with so many others. While I only screwed one, he screwed others. However, I sat down and made a decision to not let him into the house and to change the door code. I started practicing boundaries.

No, I wasn’t always successful but the practice became perfect. I begin praying and admitting to the fact that I (my flesh) wanted the good sex, and that I wouldn’t be able to overcome this without God’s supernatural help. I didn’t lie to myself or anyone else and no, I didn’t tell everyone my business. I used discretion and begin to get sick of hearing myself tell the same story and not changing. I then began looking at my life and seeing all of the time and energy I had invested into this dysfunctional relationship seeing where parts of my purpose had been unattended. I kept praying and being honest with God and myself. I stopped going to God like he didn’t already know what was going on. I actually treated Him as my friend and Father. For some time, I was often convicted and asked God to help me want what He wanted for me. I lived my life without acting like a nun, I kept trying but I started reasoning differently. It was like I started outgrowing the sex, seeing that it wasn’t getting me married, not getting him to act right, a good climax for about 1 minute, and then off to hell I go. This couldn’t be life! My mentality and understanding of it all changed.

So, you may ask, “why wasn’t the sex that good?” I wont lie, maybe in the moment it was quite satisfying. However, through the years I’ve noticed that doing things out of God’s will only made it harder to respect seasons, meaning when it was time to let go I didn’t have the strength to do it, not being committed to myself, delaying promises, spiritually blind, countless nights of tears, and more. A damnable domino effect. I began realizing that I had become more committed to someone who wasn’t committed to me. In result, giving the behaviors that my partner gave to me, to God. So, I started feeling what God felt. I was very shady. I was often on an emotional rollercoaster, it distance me from God and that feeling was just awful. Some Valentine’s Days I wouldn’t even hear from them. The relationship and me wanting it to be something that it wasn’t becoming took my attention off of other parts of my life. I now understand why parents often said, “stop trying to be grown so soon. When you’re grown, you will wish that you were a kid again.” What things have we walked into prematurely? What relationships have we identified as good while still hurting? The hurt often effects our judgement.

So, my question to you is, what are your plans for valentines day? Are you single? Do you plan on being more committed to someone who isn’t committed to you? It’s only a moment that tampers with your chances at heaven in eternity. Am I saying that i was perfect after my prayer with God? No I am not. I am saying that i admitted to not being able to do it on my own. I stayed honest with God and said that I needed His supernatural help, direction, and guidance. Since I’m having a hard time saying “no”, I needed Him to help me say it by either removing them, or doing a transformation, revival, or whatever it is on the inside of me to not have the desire for what wasn’t in His will.

Catch more of this conversation on my new Youtube Channel.

God’s promises are irrevocable! His word has restrictions and will not return to Him void! You’ll receive His Promise by the power of His word!Everything doesn’t deserve an Amen! Listen before you open your mouth! After the Amen is fulfillment. Some things are on hold because our life is not an Amen! We’re stuck because we are resistant. Never say No to God! Your desire must submit to the sovereignty of God! You’ve been dreaming and God is working. God will not let you down. Stay the course. Respect your process. Don’t rush it because of what/how you see others doing it. I had been in the process of accepting an opportunity. Things were held up and I couldn’t understand why. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I asked God over and over again, is this suppose to happen. Later I said to myself, “Ok now I’m seeing the residue of what I’ve been praying for”. It’s fruits weren’t as exciting as I thought it would be. Others who had accepted the same opportunity expressed frustration and dissatisfaction. However, while looking in from the outside, things seemed so glamorous. I later asked the Lord to give me peace and clarity on what His will was for my life. He did. Things were held up because it wasn’t his will for my life. He gave me numerous moments to show me why and still left the decision up to me. On this part of my journey, God protected me, showed me why, gave me peace, and assured me that He has my back. The lesson was, God will give you a slow process to protect you. Sometimes the slower process is apart of longevity. As long as you’re moving forward, things will become more clear. Don’t worry when it’s slow, thank God that things haven’t stopped. Have peace with what God is doing! Scripture to consider: Matthew 11:25-26 (MSG) Abruptly Jesus broke into prayer: "Thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth. You’ve concealed your ways from sophisticates and know-it-alls, but spelled them out clearly to ordinary people. Yes, Father, that’s the way you like to work."

I am happy. I have peace. A peace that surpasses all. An internal peace that is greater than any distraction, irritating person, disturbing news, or non-sunny circumstance. I am prosperous mentally and I am not an emotional wreck. I am not bullied by my feelings or driven by happenstance. Again, I am not driven by feelings.

There’s no flaky part to me. Everything about me is whole, secure, and solid! I declare this with the power that is at work within me. I am consistent. This internal glow, shines from the inside out. It attracts beautiful people and opportunities. This joy is my strength.

Today will be free, safe, clear, refreshing and filled with faith! My thoughts mirror Christ, they’re on high things. Therefore, magnetizing truth, clarity, fun, and more good things. Today will be beautiful because it’s another day that the Lord has made. So, I’m happy and glad in it!

I celebrate this leader. He was obviously timeless. We’ve become a “woke” generation neglecting moments to exercise our rights. Now we have a racist leader in office. Not to say we’re the blame. However, I’d think you’d be proud Dr. King. African American men and women are owning businesses left and right. We’re getting degrees and working in more diverse environments.

I’m glad to be apart of a people who have fought for something and have seen the blessing in your leadership. When expressing ourselves, some of us actually consider what you’ve gone through. We lead and create tastefully. African American men are covering their homes, wives, and children. Some of us entertain what should have your attention.

Signed,

4 African American Women