Test

This morning I wrote a declaration and read it aloud to myslef. After reading it, I smiled and thought deeper.

"Life is more than imaging or an opinion. My purpose depends on what/how I fuel my mind, body and spirit. My purpose cannot afford too many brain fogs. Internal peace is necessary to gracefully own who I am. My vision needs me fully alert, creative, and non-defensive towards healthy truths. The people around me need my lovin’ and high energy. I need theirs! My choices of fuel, have everything to do with what I put out into my world."

Everything that I accept has to do with how I feel. Today I woke up early, learning more about the foods that I eat. While leaving the office yesterday, and evaluating the hormones that we eat and the allergies/illnesses that have been developed over time, I’ve learned that we aren’t refreshed when sleeping because we are taking in foods that weigh us down. You may be thinking, “This isn’t anything new…” and I’m no nutritionist but I read a lot. I also ask questions to liable sources. One thing that I’ve noticed is that my seasonal allergies would often flare up when the animals knew that it was time to go to different coasts, or parts of the earth. I begin to make a note that my body started responding like an animal. LOL It was like I had become apart of the most common form of migration in ecology. LOL I then asked if the hormones in my body, from the meats that I eat, were responding to the earth? My immune system was less responsive when needing to defend itself. I watched a video of an interview of a vegan and he mentioned that America doesn’t consider that the milk, we feed ourselves and our children, have the nutrients to nourish and develop a baby calf. Young calves usually grow to weigh approximately 730 lbs. That’s obviously unhealthy for a human. Consider the weights that we are adding to ourselves just by a drink or a spoonful. This doesn’t include the weight that sometimes come from life’s journey and spiritual awareness.

I found myself having brain fogs, forgetfulness, fluctuating behaviors/ emotions, weight gain, the complete struggle to lose weight, etc. When doing fasts/ consecrations, I often feel lighter and more ready for the day. That’s usually when I’m filling myself with veggies, antioxidants, probiotics, etc. I am more likely to get through the year without a cold. When I am taking care of my body, I have the opportunity to have no days off and not cancel random/short vacations. I literally have the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my labor, purpose, God’s Love, and the amazing people around me.

"God didn’t design me to be poisoned by foods, people, lies, etc. After sharing pieces of my learning experience, I hope that this inspires you to fuel yourself well. This causes us to even consider the weight that may be around us. Sometimes its not the people, menstrual cycles, or whatever there things in life that we deem obvious; but it’s the choices we make in our foods. Part of the declaration was: “Every decision I make will be for God’s glory and my wellness. I am well! Well rested, well nourished, well accompanied, and more! Everything I do, I will have done it WELL!”

Your generosity should be rewarded. Some people aren’t whole enough to match your level of love. They won’t get the lesson until you teach the lesson. Sometimes the lesson is really to just walk away! I was talking to Courtney and she said, “I understand your love but you may have to change the locks!” You may have given someone a key but you may have to change the locks so that they no longer have access to your heart or the way you move. Certain things that they say or do should no longer trigger that vulnerable side of you. At some point, you have to write down a list of things that you’ve done and write down a list of the things that they’ve done. Every time they call or try and reconnect, go over that list to see if it’s worth it! I just wrote down a list of disrespects that I’ve experienced by one person and I am simply appalled at myself allowing it to go this far! Like what have I been thinking? But every time I think about a memory, I’ll remind myself of the heart wrenching moments that I was too embarrassed to share with someone else.

In result, it was me crying hard in a corner alone. I know the Bible says that love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. However, God gives us wisdom. It would be wise to curse damnable learned behaviors by discontinuing dealings with toxic people. Love yourself. Our fear in God should push us to want to not disrespect what He has created. Treat God’s child right! You are God’s child. Relationships around you should restore you.

Restoration can sometimes be through laughing, talking, going out, a surprise, prayer, etc. Sometimes we have arguments with unhealthy people which can be a complete waste of time. We choose to be in circles that don’t match us. I noticed that I was an outcast the other day. I had gone to pick someone up and everyone who had walked out of the door had immediately light up a cigarette. I observed stress, worry, and tire. I’m not stressed out. Not because i have it all together but because the joy of the Lord.

I’ve had disappointments but life isn’t getting to me to where I have to feed my body poison to get through the day! People don’t realize that we agree to the subtle way of killing ourselves, with Satan. I immediately realized that I’m not this crowd’s cup of tea. I don’t fit in here. I’m no angel but walking with God as close as I can keeps me sane and in a good space. There’s a peace that surpasses all. Some people won’t match this space that I’m in because their level of trust in HIM is not the same. Our desires are different. We love people who have unhealthy addictions but again, see the space that you’re in and where you can grow. Reflect for others the same way. Decide if they should be there this time around.

Ask God is the season up for this connection. What lesson aren’t you getting? What level of love is this that’s keeping you around to love someone who is simply incapable of loving you back? Or is it even love? Today I pray that God gives us the wisdom and love to treat our neighbors better. Keep good character. Say less. #kierrasdevotion #selfLove #generosity #reciprocity

While in leading roles you’re hardly ever able to tell your side of the story. The name you put on a car to help someone, the hard earned money that you’ve lended and never got back, the drain they’ve caused you emotionally, the dishonesty that they’ve shared along the way while having called them family, the preference of others while you’re there, the going back that you’ve once tried (to mend fences), your work schedule that only other productive people would understand, their inconsistencies that they gave but expected you to understand, or the “friendship” that was based off of them just wanting to be you. Anything that has life, goes through changes. God will send solid people that you should love and protect. He’ll also send seasonal people. When you’re more on the side of making deposits into people’s lives, you’ll see people come and go. Some of us have a purpose of simply making continuous deposits. So, we attract people who are developing (even while we’re developing). That doesn’t say that you’re unhealthy. Consider how many people Jesus had touch him, question him, and followed him but then decided to go elsewhere. Does that say that He was unstable? No it says that people from all walks of life connected themselves to Him because of what they could get. However, there was a solid 12, who too were often wavering. People will make indirect posts as if they’re victim. Adults know why they’re moved from someone’s life. Sometimes people won’t understand it until they’re at a new level of productivity. People who don’t have the full understanding of growth don’t really understand seasons. There’s a such thing as seasons. How many seasons are in a year? We can’t tell God, “God this is too much changing..” Seasons are apart of what the earth needs. Leaves have to fall from the tree, during the fall season, for the new and restored to come. Some won’t understand the changing cycle of people. However, they’ll always remember the deposits and generosity. As a matter of fact, they may even play like they’ve forgotten. However, just consider that it’s what comes with the territory. Big/growing companies have large changing cycles; while small companies have small changing cycles. Stop having certain discussions with people who don’t understand your level of operation. Continue to identify those who cause confusion. (Romans16:17) They know who they are and they’ll play victim. However, stay connected with God, hold tight to solid people, acknowledge when you’re wrong, ask for forgiveness, and keep MOVING. Keep in mind that fans and mentees are not necessarily friends. So, give no explanations to people who don’t understand the level that you’re on. Continue to evaluate yourself, have a sounding board who will be honest with you, ask God to direct you and to give you wisdom/discernment on who to keep or let go.

At some point we have to make hard decisions! I’ll have to keep saying “no” because if I don’t respect myself, or draw the line, then no one else will. There is a such thing as heaven on earth. We keep saying we won’t enter back into unhealthy relationships but we end up right back. I’m guilty! Lord really deliver us!!! I see why the seasoned folks mentioned deliverance services. This culture is convincing us to believe that to be more informed, excuses unwarranted behavior. It offends God! Lord forgive me for the things that I’ve excused, that you’ve never excused. I won’t allow your child (me) to be treated as leftovers.

I remember coming home one time after being bullied and my mommy whipped me for not defending myself. Both of my parents have asked me at least one time in life, “Why’d you let them do that to you?” At some point we have to love ourselves enough, not to heighten our expectations of other people and how they deal with us, but how we deal with ourselves.

Some people can’t have healthy conversations with you because they are physically healthy. Being in love with an alcoholic, will cause you to go insane. They have to become healthy in order to know how to handle you. But if they abuse themselves, what makes us think they won’t abuse us? What family members are you trying to stay connected to that aren’t healthy enough to have you? Have we learned behaviors from society causing us to be dogs and pigs with heavenly things? With even ourselves? You are of heaven. Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces” Enough is enough right? Nowadays the lie is more popular than the truth! It’s so unfortunate! Be okay with not being the 9-5, or the weekend! Unless you want to! It’s catchy! Maybe I’m even missing the meaning…but lowering my standard of what I even listen to teaches my subconscious that some parts of what I once despised, is okay. How much are you loving yourself?

To be continued…

Just because you don’t say everything, or respond to everything doesn’t mean that you are weak. To hold some of it in your mind, or to yourself, is not so bad. To have the discipline to maintain your grace, is stronger than someone who releases everything that is on their mind. I enjoyed the time that I shared with some LA friends. I had a refreshing moment seeing that one friend is happily married to an incredible guy, who’s as smart as Mark Zuch (I called him the transformer) LOL, she’s a beautiful mother, a super smart and edgy teacher, driving the Lexus that we all knew was apart of her mental vision board, and more. Another friend who’s into accounting, working a great paying job, supa-fly in her own right, fashion forward, a woman of faith, super vibrant, always having a quick date (guy) to laugh about, and just a blast to be around. Or the other friend that’s inching her way into broadway and other major opportunities. I enjoyed saying, “I’m proud of you…” It was a complete pleasure to apologize for the disconnect that I had caused from simply not staying in touch with good people. On top of that, it was refreshing to safely poor out my guts and not second guess everything that I laid on the table. I have that at home but to touch base with friends that you’ve known over the years was also a bliss! Friends that are in a similar space as you, or greater. I enjoy friends who can get “witchu” and we leave knowing that it was all fun and games but when it comes down to an honest reflection, we respectfully shared our thoughts! We grow pass a space of needing to read each other but enjoy eye contact during conversations to hear each other from our hearts and what we’re really saying. No phones and barely remembering to post to social media. I use to get jealous of the other friends that my friends had. LOL How is that possible? I’m not sure! I’m possessive with my good people. However, this go-round to see my growth with not having a care in the world of who has who but to simply enjoy that I have them too, was simply amazing. I have good gals who I can call friends. All of my friends are beautiful, smart, explorative, challenging, and strong women. Some are better than me in certain areas while I can compliment them in others areas. There’s an advantage that each one of my friends have that I may not. Does this build a sense of jealousy? Absolutely not! It gives me a learning experience. I get sharpened by them. Maybe someone was more welcome to their home than I, and that was no problem. People give signs of how they’d like to deal with you and that honesty is treasurable. To have taken offense would be unwise. Compartmentalizing people isn’t so bad. It’s healthy! Having this sense of freedom and understanding of where I am with myself, allowed me to not give a second thought to anything more than what was happening in that moment.

To understand that people deal with others from where they are, also allows us to simply enjoy the level of that relationship. In this space, there’s less second guessing. To carry the burden of offense and accusation, while dealing with people, highlights the fact that I’m not all the way like Jesus just yet. I’m glad to learn that I’m growing from this place. Accusing ourselves in our minds, accusing others, and to make ourselves/others feel guilty is a similar operation of the adversary. (Revelation 12:10) Don’t allow him to use you to be against yourself! Be free today! In heaven, or hell, you’ll have to deal with people. Not sure where you’re planning on going, but I’m surely going to heaven! LOL while that gate may be narrow, there was a number that no man could number. So, learn to healthily deal with people! Don’t isolate yourself but enjoy the safe people that are around.